Why Being 30 in 2021 Changed My Life
Image Source (Unsplash)
Once I’d turned 28 I felt a cultural shift in people’s expectations of where my life should be. And I get it. When I was 21 I for sure thought I’d be married with kids and in a good job by 30! Then again when I was 21, 30 seemed old and lightyears away! Spoiler alert – time flies in your twenties. On the route to the big 30, and I told people I was single, no longer was being young and wild and free an acceptable life choice. Family and friends started to tilt their head and say ‘don’t worry he’s out there’ and ‘ooh don’t leave it too long’ as if I had a ticking biological clock above my head for the world to see. Then a little thing called Covid hit and I was locked down for the foreseeable.
So, I decided to focus on being a successful career woman. Who needs a family when you’re an absolute boss at work? Samantha Jones eat your heart out. In a mid-level job, I took a secondment opportunity to work in a Covid crisis team and my experience catapulted from a mid-level background number cruncher to a confident career woman with an experience I could use to open doors for the next ten years. So, when I returned to my department and walked straight into a promotion I thought ‘I did it’. I have an answer to the “what are you up to” question at BBQs for years to come. I was on an uphill trajectory to senior leadership, just as I’d wanted. So why did it feel so stale?
I’d put so much pressure on making sure at least one part of my life was deemed successful at 30, that by the time I got there it felt anti-climactic. I’d reached a level in my career that should have brought excitement and pride but all I wanted to do was run. So, I did.
One month after my birthday, I handed my notice in with no job lined up and put all of my faith in freelance work. I’d started a blog in lockdown and I loved being able to express my feelings and join a community of likeminded people! I moved into the world of virtual assistance and social media management. I was supposed to add freelance writing to the list, but I’ve found myself chasing work for the former that writing’s fallen to wayside. 2022 goals – do more pitching! For the most part, I’ve done okay but it’s not been an easy journey so far. Not least because everybody in my life thought I was crazy and maybe on some level I was having a crisis moment but it still was the right thing to do at the time.
I think that so many of us relate to the fact we are always chasing the next goal in order to achieve happiness. I’ll be happy if I just lose 20 pounds. Or if I just get that promotion. Or if I just get a partner. There’s always a just around the corner to distract us from our current life situation but if I could send a message to every 20-something (or 30,40…) it’s this. We have one life, so don’t waste your time convincing yourself you can’t possibly feel happiness until you reach a certain milestone. Stop and smell the roses from time to time. Enjoy nights out with friends and the opportunity to be single because it’s not always such a terrible thing!
Be young and wild and free for as long as you damn well please! Lastly make sure what you are chasing is because it is your dream, not what you think you should want. Because, you may well get there one day and realise you took a wrong turn along the way.
At 30 years old I was unemployed, single and living alone in a pandemic and it was the way I chose it to be. I knew it was better than being 10 years older, in a job I hated and mindset that was not serving me well. Who knows what’s around the corner, perhaps I’ll find myself back in the rat race one day. I just hope that it will be a choice I make for all of the right reasons because I didn’t come this far, just to come this far. Neither did you.
For everyone celebrating big birthdays this year – happy freaking birthday! May this one be better than the last!
by Stacey Smith
Follow Stacey’s Instagram
(also featured in I04)
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