by Zara Denham ❀

“How did you lose your virginity?” A common question at parties and in drinking games. Another one: “What’s your body count?” Our culture is obsessed with sex and virginity, but for all its significance, the concept of virginity - and indeed, sex itself - is incredibly poorly defined. What does it really mean to be a virgin? Simply someone who has never had sex. But in the modern age, what does it really mean to have sex? The archaic and vague definition of sex is perhaps best highlighted by one particular scene in the Netflix show Sex Education. The main character, Otis, meets a religious pro-life protestor outside an abortion clinic, and while waiting for his friend, he finds himself engaging her in conversation. She tells him about her relationship problems, revealing that she and her boyfriend are fighting because he had sex with another woman before converting to Christianity and pledging chastity before marriage.

by Leah Pou ❀

This is a letter, to all the boys who, in the words of Georgia Nicolson “act like they like you and then they just ignore you.”

Dear (Insert Name Here),

The first time we met I thought that that would be it. I never thought I would see you again and I was fine with that. We got on and had a laugh, but I wasn’t looking for anything, I was more than happy being single and living life free from the stress of boys. You kept messaging though, you kept wanting to meet up and as I enjoyed spending time with you, I agreed.

by Emma Doyle ❀

It would be wrong of me to make any kind of statement that the last fifteen months of social dislocation have seen a dramatic increase in stable, straightforward love lives filled with tangible, glittering promises. Or stability. Or even love lives in general. However, for those who have found themselves on the active side of the dating scene during this period, to adopt the Shakespearean notion that the course of true love has run smooth would equate to misplaced optimism. For a few, ever-increasing distances and ever-decreasing contact with partners has led to a premature breakdown of relationships, exacerbated by the global situation.  

by Jordana Levine ❀

TW: hookup culture, sex

#advice

IF YOU ARE CONSIDERING ENGAGING IN HOOKUP CULTURE, READ THIS. I might be some random woman on the internet, but I wrote this because my hope is that someone who reads this will not have to endure what I endured.

Hookup culture defined in this article is behaviour in which you engage in sexual acts with a person you may or may not know whom you have no intention of dating or being in a relationship with thereafter.

by Lizzie Perman ❀

Turbulent romances, family feuds, petty workplace dramas – sometimes it feels like nearly everyone is out to get you. Often, we can find ourselves entangled in situations we’d rather not be in, external factors ensuring ties are not so easily broken. A friendship, on the other hand, can be a wonderfully simple thing. It is a wholly unique relationship, in that it’s one you choose for yourself: one you can choose to water or leave to quietly wither in the corner. It should (in theory) be the most straightforward and uncomplicated exchange you can have with another human being – you like spending time with each other, therefore you do so, and repeat until one of you dies.

by Zara Denham ❀

Earlier this month, after sixty days of rehab, John Mulaney’s divorce from wife of six years Annamarie Tendler was announced. The news came as a shock to fans, considering Mulaney talks extensively of his love for her in his live shows. “I like [my wife] so much,” he declares in his 2018 Netflix special Kid Gorgeous. “She’s a dynamite, five-foot Jewish bitch and she’s the best.” Their relationship and Tendler herself became a favourite for fans, with her one-minute appearance in Mulaney’s episode of Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee being hailed as the funniest moment of the season by outlets like Vulture and Decider. It stands to reason, then, that news of a divorce has caught people off guard. 

by Lizzie Perman ❀

‘As an Aquarius, he finds it hard to open up emotionally. So, I’m going to keep texting him until he does.’ - Anon. Horoscopes were once a bit of fun. A harmless sleepover activity to fit in somewhere between braiding hair and hysterical crying en masse at The Notebook. In more recent years, as younger generations have become both more openly and less ironically spiritual, what star sign you are is information volunteered shortly after your name, age and whether you’re taking the vaccine or not.

by Lizzie Perman ❀

BFF, Best Friends For Life, the girls, the girl gang, galdem. More often than not, tight-knit female friendships are seen as aspirational in teenage years, but less so once the estrogen high wears off in your mid to late twenties. Girl gangs are raucous, lawless, troublemakers. They are the stories you tell your unsuspecting other half years later; stories to explain exactly why you have ‘Fezzy Dick’ tattooed on your left rib, or why Romeo from So Solid Crew wishes you a happy birthday every year.

by Zara Denham ❀

My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half — which, in the context of the global situation, means that the majority of our relationship has taken place during a global pandemic. We spent the first lockdown isolating together in uni halls after everyone else had moved out, and that two months completely alone elevated our relationship into something much deeper and much more serious than either of us had ever anticipated.

by Lizzie Perman ❀

You need only look to the story of Rapunzel to see that lovers traditionally appreciate long hair. OK, it’s less likely nowadays they’ll use it to scale your building (depending on what you’re into) but the hangover of long locks symbolising femineity, sensuality and having some sort of sexual practicality are still present. Although the hard rules of what makes a woman have relaxed, gender stereotypes remain, and the ongoing discrimination against trans and non-binary people speaks volumes in how far we still have to go.

by Emma Doyle❀

Pre-international shutdown, I was never one for embarking on nights out with the aim of gaining a mental photo album of fond memories. Not that this would have been an invalid choice for me to make, only that the morning-after fuzz induced by the questionable mix of intoxicants ingested a few hours previous became a sensation I welcomed like an old friend. On the subject of old friends, I have too many that I miss.

by Lizzie Perman ❀

It could be an ex. A random Hinge match, or a romance that blossomed feverishly online but died a death once face-to-face interaction became a necessity. You know it’s not meant to be, that things would never work out. You don’t even fancy them anymore - so why does the sight of their IG handle still make your stomach drop and your heart flutter out of your chest?

by Zara Denham ❀

I first heard the term “sex positive” at age fourteen. Scrolling through my YouTube recommended, trying to find something new to watch, I came across a Hannah Witton video and was suddenly sucked into a fascinating niche of the internet. Growing up in a culture of sexual repression, this was the first time I’d ever heard someone discuss sex in such an open and educational way...

by Bloom Community ❀

Love it or loath it, February 14th is often a memorable date for people. You’re bound to have a story or link to it, whether you spend it alone or with someone else, mark it on your calendar or forget all about it, have a stack of cards from the past or none at all.

by Esmée Turlej ❀

Hello to me,

The being I’ve always been, body and spirit through thick and

thin.

We’ve conquered a lot, you and I.

I am so in awe of your strength and beauty, your energy radiates and sends good vibrations out to all who come your

way.

by Ruby Flanagan ❀

Life is about growing and learning. Everyday the sun rises and we wake up a new person with what we learnt from the day before. When thinking about the person I am today, I like to think about the people who have had the biggest impact in moulding me into who I am: the boys I’ve dated.

by Claire Edwards ❀

“I wish you well, I know you’ll be fine.” Completely out of the blue, this was one of the last comments my ‘best friend’ of four years ever made to me. The hundreds of amazing memories we’d created, the tough challenges we’d battled together... boiled down to one final text message.

by Megan Robinson ❀

No one had bought me flowers,

before you. Some were still waiting to bloom.

by Tola Aluko ❀

I used to drink Coca Cola religiously; I loved it. But, when I drank it, I gained weight.