What Harry Styles’ ‘As It Was’ Taught Me About Letting Go

We draw influences from the things, people, and environments we surround ourselves with. For a while, I felt my mentality toward many things; health, love, relationships, and societal expectations kept me withdrawn and away from being truly myself. So, I have camouflaged my life with Harry Styles since I was 7. At 19, this is what his newest single taught me.

In the opening verse, Styles describes someone as a force. Although they’re no longer in his life, he is pulled backwards to them. In the last line, he recognises: “And I’m the one who will stay”. I feel somewhat validated by his words. There are many people I’ve longed to bring back into my life, and, up until recently, I thought it was weird to miss them, even relationships which ended emotionally brutally.

Verse two sees Styles explore self-reflection, isolation and heartbreak.“Harry, you’re no good alone” is probably my favourite line. In 5 words, he self-reflects on his situation from an outside perspective, which can be tremendously difficult when you're in a lonely headspace.

I spent a weekend in limbo – trying to reflect on my own life, what I want from it and who I want beside me. I worked on forgiving myself for grasping onto unhealthy relationships, accepting self-forgiveness and making peace with relationships which may have had potential but fell through.

The ability to ‘let go’ is not learned through a song or music video just because the lyrics or visuals validate your own experience. I understand that. But I also feel influences can emerge from anywhere, and, personally, my place of inspiration happens to be Harry’s songs.

Images, screenshots

Watching the music video around the bridge is interesting. I felt the video finally aligned with the song's lyrics, speed and intentions. As the muted track vocal and fast rhythm said, “Go home, get ahead, light-speed internet, I don’t wanna talk about the way that it was Leave America, two kids follow her I don’t wanna talk about who’s doing it first.”

Styles in red and Mathilde Lin in blue running in an endless circle, physically going nowhere, is almost a direct visualisation of being stuck in a rut. The last clause of each line, “I don’t wanna talk about the way that it was,” and “I don’t wanna talk about who’s doing it first”, are doorways into mindsets for letting go.

Styles recognises how a situation unfurled and accepts leaving it ‘as it was’. Knowing you cannot change the past but recognising how much you’ve progressed matters. Not wanting to talk about others who have accomplished things you wish to do is fair enough. But it's helpful to remove thoughts such as, ‘there’s no point because they’re so much better than I am' and replacing them with ideas such as, ‘I don’t pay mind to their progress because it’s not a competition and I’m doing this for myself.'

After the bridge, both in the video and on the track, Styles is free. He dances and enjoys a new lightness to himself. I find myself starting to do the same. Validating my worries, allowing them space to settle and acknowledging that it’s all going to be ok. I remind myself that emotions can be temporary, and I do not have to let them become me.

by Jessica Palmer

Follow Jessica’s Instagram

(Also featured in Bloom I05)

✿