Bennifer, and the Awful Pain of Right Person, Wrong Time
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Bennifer. The love story of Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez, the iconic couple of the early 2000s. From its beginnings, a meet-cute on set of their film Gigli (2003), their two-year romance held a grip on the public. Borne in the peak era of tabloids and media attention, Affleck and Lopez were hounded throughout their brief relationship, even becoming the first couple to be branded with a portmanteau that set the trend for the likes of Brangelina and Kimye. They eventually split, first postponing their wedding just four days before the fact and explaining that “the spirit of what should have been the happiest day of their lives could be compromised” by the “excessive media attention”. Just a month later, they ended things for good.
Despite everything, their relationship has never turned sour. Both of them have spoken positively of each other in the years since their breakup, and in 2016, Lopez reflected on their relationship, telling People Magazine that “I think different time, different thing, who knows what could have happened”. And here we are, twenty years after they first met, watching them fall in love all over again. In April 2021, the pair were seen first together again, and in July, Lopez finally confirmed their reunion with an Instagram post of the pair sharing a kiss on her 52nd birthday. Most recently, Affleck was seen looking at engagement rings with his mother and son by his side, indicating a proposal is not that far off.
Thousands of Instagram accounts dedicated to the pair now exist, and tabloids and magazines are just as dedicated to this relationship as they were the first time. This time, however, there’s a very particular reason for the obsession with Bennifer, and it’s not just because they’re famous. They have lived out the very story so many of us have dreamed of. We have all had that relationship — the one that got away, the lost love, the right person wrong time. Someone who could have been the one, except circumstances made it impossible for things to work, whether because of age, distance, or any other number of factors. Breakups are always hard, but breakups when there was no wrongdoing and you are both still undeniably in love are a particularly painful loss, made worse by the persistent “what could have been”, and so rarely do they work out in the long term.
Us Weekly has reported that Affleck is “determined” not to lose Lopez again, and that he has “matured into the man of her dreams”. The chances of them not only being single at the same time, in the same place, but also having grown into a compatible pairing instead of growing apart is so miniscule it’s almost unbelievable. This is the stuff of Hollywood fantasy, of rom-coms and literature, the type of incredible story we love to read because we want it to come true, even though we know it never does.
And therein lies the magic of Bennifer: once an iconic couple, who almost made it but didn’t quite, now reunited, living out the very “what could have been” fantasies we have all had. Seventeen years, several marriages, and five children later, they are set up to have the ultimate meant-to-be story. Let’s hope this time they last.
by Zara Denham (Staff Love & Relationships Writer)
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