What Is Life, If I Do Not Know Who I Am?
“Growth can feel like loss” I think of this as I currently shed the old shell that was my former self and feel myself physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually entering a new chapter of my life. When you’re conscious and really alive, you are so tuned into the waves and feelings of life, it is impossible to not recognise when the present is fading into the past and when the future is dissolving slowly and becoming a new, different, reality. I have long lived my life attached to things and people - I do not think I have ever been just one, just me, I have been an extension of people and moments, thinking my identity belongs to the experiences I have lived, the pain and love I have felt. As I peel away from this old skin, I am able to gaze back and acknowledge all of my other, younger, shells, just now realising how much I have expanded over the years - taking up more space each time. Only now do I feel a sweet admiration for myself, I am so proud that I have changed, each time becoming less painful than the previous. More freeing. More exciting.
I am not certain of who I am or where I belong or where I will be. I am welcoming of the change that life brings, accepting what is for me and letting go of what isn’t for me, knowing that I have the ability to love and cherish so many different people and moments… attaching yourself to illusions of how you believe life should be will stump your growth, you will squish yourself into a mould which does not fit, convincing yourself this who you are meant to be. You are not supposed to be anyone or anything - do not cause yourself pain by forging a life which is not meant to be, trust that the universe is on your side and believe in yourself enough to flow with the waves of life, welcoming and accepting all kinds of emotions along the way.
I let go of the pain and sadness of attachment and accept the freedom and love of acceptance.
by Paige Thompson
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Edited by Charlotte Osment (Editorial Assistant)
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